CLAIRE LADDS

Author of character-driven psychological literary fiction and other darker books, all with an emotional pull

You Know You Shouldn't

Review of my Writing and Business Goals 2024

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I hope you’ve had a lovely Christmastime. As we reach the very end of the year and brace ourselves to head into the next, it’s time for me to reflect on my writing, my author business, and also my overall happiness with the way I have been working in 2024. It’s been a strange couple of years; I didn’t manage to write a review of my 2023 goals, nor did I set any heavy targets for 2024. Both of these meant I didn’t make myself accountable here, on my blog. There was a massive reason for this: during the end of 2022 and the bulk of 2023, I was suffering personally from illness, which very much scuppered any plans I had for that year, with the exception of releasing my psychological suspense thriller, Hers or Mine. My recovery was slow, but nevertheless steady, and I wanted no setbacks. This meant that, for 2024, I kept my aims private, and decided that my main goal was to write. Anything. As long as my work progressed in some way, then I would be relatively happy. But I did not want to put any kind of pressure on myself beyond ensuring I continued to recover, and certainly didn’t expect to publish anything.

I did write. I started several projects and, in particular, I progressed pretty well with a noir novella which may turn into a novel; I’m not sure yet. I was aiming for a Hitchcock-esque/Patricia Highsmith claustrophobic vibe because I find that particularly exciting. I also wanted to integrate something experimentally a little bit spicier than my dark suspense books, but nevertheless with my usual darkness of character and twists and turns. This has all led to an extra layer of tension that I’ve been thoroughly enjoying writing, and it has prompted plans for a themed series of standalones in the same vein.

I wrote a tentative plan for a Gothic mystery-thriller series, which has started developing into what I’m going to currently call ‘Gothic with grief and guts’. I have so many ideas for books which have never figured out their place in my writing, but each of them will fit beautifully here. What happened then was a proliferation of ideas – and all for two other series which have been lurking in my head for quite some time. They’re biding their time, and deciding whether or not they will wrangle themselves to fit my current genres of work, or whether they will be something a little…different.

Over the course of the year, I also went right back to my writing roots and started various pieces of short fiction, completing several of them. I was thrilled to find that three of my dark short stories gained places in the Bolts of Fiction charity anthology, published by the very lovely horror author, Daniel Willcocks, of Devils Rock Publishing.

But I wasn’t completely happy. I wasn’t publishing anything myself. I hadn’t, as I mentioned, made firm plans to even try to do so. And, despite being acutely aware that I ought not to push myself too hard, too fast, I couldn’t continue in this vein; it was enough to drive me crazy. I’m a writer, yes, but I’m also a publisher, and I was letting myself down.

So, In early summer, I got back to writing the first draft of You Know You Shouldn’t, the psychological thriller which had been giving me immense trouble the year previously because I hadn’t been quite sure exactly what to do with the narrative, and whether to continue the story of Eva Sewell, my main character, beyond this book. However, I decided that, no matter what, and regardless of whether I’d solved the standalone versus series issue, that You Know You Shouldn’t was coming out by Christmas. So I set a release date for the e-book of Christmas Day, however crazy that sounds. Guess what? The book came out on 25th December, as planned, which made for a great Christmas! I had written, and I had published. AND I’ve solved the narrative issue – there will definitely be more Eva novels to come. Her story is not yet over…

At a similar time that I re-started work on this book, I was also asked to speak on a panel at the Crime Book Festival in Boston, Lincolnshire, here in the UK. I thoroughly enjoyed talking about my writing, and offering advice to audience members who wanted to publish their work. The day ended on a high, as I had the privilege of talking at length with members of the audience and signing copies of my books. It was such a lovely experience, that I also agreed to become an attending author at their main book festival in September. Building up in-person connections over the course of the year has also meant that I have increased sales in signed, personalised copies of my paperbacks, which is something I intend to explore more in the coming months.

But, as I am wont to do, all too often, I have spent portions of the year second-guessing whether I am writing the ‘right thing’, both in terms of what makes me happy and in a business sense, together with agonising over the dilemma of whether my e-books should be available everywhere, or exclusive to Kindle Unlimited. There are pros and cons to both, depending on the genre, the author, as well as business style and objectives. After beating myself up about this for far too long, and making an attempt to remove my e-books from all the stores except Amazon in order to experiment with Kindle Unlimited after a number of years away, I found that I could not be absolutely certain that my books were not still lurking on some stores. I did not want to fall foul of Amazon’s exclusivity terms and conditions, and simultaneously I had a nagging feeling deep inside that, for me, this would actually be the wrong move. So, for all the books I ever write under the ‘Claire Ladds’ brand, I have decided that making my books available in as many places as possible is what I’m doing.

Am I worrying over whether I’m writing what makes me happy? Yes. Am I worrying that I should be writing books that are more in-line with the mainstream, or a long-running series? Yes. Or… oh, pick a thing and I’m probably worrying about it! These questions are a perennial concern for me. What I do know is that, if I’m writing a story that keeps me thinking about it all day, and dreaming about it at night, if it thrills me to plan it, and I have a real connection with my characters, then I’m writing the story I should be writing. I write what I want to read, first and foremost. And then I always hope that there are readers who want to read the same books as me. I’m not the kind of writer who can jump onto current trends, I know that about myself. I, finally, am at peace with the fact that I can only write the books that interest me. Without that, there is no authenticity in my writing and, in turn, no joy. This was something I was troubled by so much when I was in my heyday of writing short fiction for certain types of publications that I actually stopped writing fiction altogether for a while. I never want that to happen again. What I have noticed within myself over the course of this year, and something that has surprised me somewhat, is that I now feel ready to write the story of a character which spans a series of books, a task that I have resisted vehemently for years because I convinced myself that I was unable to do it.

So, what have I managed to achieve in 2024? Well, a bit more than I expected, to be honest:

~ I published my psychological thriller, You Know You Shouldn’t

~ I attended two authors events and met some of my readers

~ I wrote other work that will form the basis of a future publication, and short stories which were published (and for a good cause, which was a bonus)

~ I found new readers who became part of my community in my Readers’ Club, and people who are interested in my work via TikTok, which has resulted in an uptick of sales

~ I made direct, in-person sales bases on word of mouth and personal connection

~ In conjunction with my Readers’ Club, and with a great deal of soul-searching, I developed more clarity over where I want my writing to go, what makes me happy, and what I’d like to write and publish in future months and years.

For an author who set no solid goals for this year in order to ensure I stayed well, I don’t think that’s bad going. But spending some time sitting back and thinking about what I really enjoy, what I want to focus on, and what will also make decent business sense, now means that I have plenty of ideas for how I would like next year’s projects to go. I don’t plan on sitting back and letting the world go by, because that really isn’t like me at all. Writing is my life, and I intend to live it, even if it is only vicariously through my characters (and, considering what some of them get up to, then ‘vicariously’ is probably not a bad thing!).

I’ll be back tomorrow, when I will discuss my writing and business goals for the coming year, together with more details of what this ‘soul-searching’ of mine has revealed, in relation to what you can expect of me in 2025.

See you next year!

You Know You Shouldn’t is available right now from many e-book stores, as well as from libraries (just request the book). Click the button or the image below to discover more and buy this psychological thriller (with a hint of spice).

BUY YOU KNOW YOU SHOULDN’T

Coming Soon… my new psychological thriller, You Know You Shouldn’t (pre-order now!)

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Psychological thriller, You Know You Shouldn't, by Claire Ladds is available to pre-order now. Temptation can be irresistible, but it can also be deadly...

I’m absolutely thrilled to tell you that my latest psychological thriller, You Know You Shouldn’t, is releasing on CHRISTMAS DAY! And, better still, it’s available to pre-order for just 99p/99c or your country’s equivalent.

I could tell you all about it, but I think Eva Sewell, my main character, can do a better job in her prologue:

~~~

I want to ask you three questions. Think about them carefully.

Question number one: If you received a text message, and you had no clue who sent it, would you reply? Nowadays, you have to be so careful. Maybe you’re like me. I’ve never been naïve, and I’ve never thought of myself as stupid. So I’d glare at the phone. Churn over in my head any recollections of people I’d met recently. Assess whether or not, inadvertently or in a drunken, flirting moment, I might have given my number to them. Then I would sneer and snap back at the unexpected words on my phone screen: ‘There’s no way I’m answering any random message from a stranger.’

That’s what I always thought I’d do.

Okay then, so here’s your second question: How about if you received more than just one message? A proliferation of them. And not only texts, but other things, too – little notes, maybe, or something left attached to your windscreen? What if this developed into presents? Would you be freaked out? Paranoid that someone was watching? Unable to sleep at night, not understanding why someone you can’t identify would be trying to get this close to you? Would you seriously contemplate going to the police in the hope they could do something to stop it? Or do it anyway because logic dictates that this could get dangerous. Because it could, right?

And this is the bit I’m really getting at here: even if you didn’t earlier, would you now block the number? Or would something dark, buried inside of you, be curious – you know, just curious enough to tell no one, and to leave the door open for the mystery messager to do it again?

I’ve always known, deep down, that the thought of risk leaves me tingling. Sometimes it gets to the parts of me that I can’t tell ordinary people about. I’ve spent years trying to block these feelings out of my life, and to bear the weight of my responsibilities. But I also don’t class myself as acting without thinking. Or, at least, my dark subconscious and my sense of what’s ‘right’, of what’s ‘expected’, battle that one out among themselves. I just want them to leave me out of it, and let me get on with my life. However hard that is, after everything that’s happened.

And here’s the third question, the crux of where I’ve been going with all of this, the beating heart of my interrogation of your mind: what if you realised exactly who was sending you messages? What then? What if you received this:

You know that I know who you are. I mean really know you. And what you did. We’re unfinished business – and you know it.

Be honest with yourself, now. If you can do that, then I’m going to be honest with you. Would your stomach screw itself into a knot? Would your throat go so dry that, no matter how hard or often you swallow, you think you’re going to choke? Would you answer that message?

I did. And look at me now.

~~~

I can guarantee that answering that text message is just the beginning of this deadly game of temptation…

You can pre-order the novel for 99p/99c/your country’s equivalent on many e-book stores. Just hit the button below to find your preferred one. Note: this book is recommended for 18+. You can also take a look and read more here.

Grab yourself a Black Friday bargain, a Cyber Monday or an early Christmas present for yourself, that will land on your e-reader on the day itself. Why not? I’m not going to tell you that you shouldn’t!

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Books Make Perfect Christmas Presents

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I love Christmas shopping. Not the actual shopping – the food, and trying to figure out which socks are the right size, and did Great Aunty Helen actually already have a sandwich toaster? – because, to me, that’s an absolute nightmare. No, what I love is the atmosphere – the lights, the beautiful displays, the sound of carols and Christmas songs filterign through the air, the myriad smells of food cooking on the street stalls, the quirky gifts that you can find, especially those ones that have been lovingly created by a real human being, where you can tell that time and energy has been poured into them.

This latter is how I see books: one of the quirky gifts. The story itself has been created in the author’s head, then formed, layers added to build it into a narrative, its separate parts dovetailed then worked on until it has perfectly working joins, sanded into seamless storytelling, varnished and finally displayed in its own individual, beautiful form. How exciting is that – to be able to read the ideas that have been created in a writer’s imagination, and encapsulated in such a tangible form?! As you read this post, you’ll notice how much I value the opportunity of being able to give books at Christmas, as much as being a recipient of them.

My absolute favourite place to be at Christmastime is a bookshop. In truth, you’d be hard pushed to keep me out of them all year round, but there’s something extra cosy, extra exciting, about being there knowing I’m choosing something for a loved one to read. To me, giving a book is a more modern development of the tradition of oral storytelling. We all absorb story in many ways every day, from novels to conversations to adverts on the TV, and in many more ways, too. Instead of passing a story on to others around a fire, it’s become a physical (or digital, or audio) form that enables the recipient of the story to engage with their imagination on a deep level, and at their own pace. The book itself acts as a conduit between the author’s imagination and the reader’s innate desire for story. We need them to act as an overarching metaphor, a point of identity with a character or a situation, or with choices and consequences, to help make sense of our own lives.

As a voracious reader, I consume story in as many ways as possible. But I have to say that there is something special about holding a book in my hands, smelling the pages (yes, I do that!), leafing through the sheets and sheets that contain insights that I wouldn’t ever have been able to experience in the way that I do, had the invention of the printing press never come into existence. But, for me, the experience is magnified during the cold UK winter weather, as the rain batters on the bookshop windows and dusk becomes darkness outside. The bookshop becomes a haven, a cosy-lit home-from-home for book lovers. The place is wallpapered with bookshelves, carpeted with tables of new, bestselling and on-offer novels, and you can often sit and read the books you buy or – in some bookshops – before you do so. What I especially love is that the people around me are all there doing exactly the same as me, and chances are they’re as much of a bibliophile as I am!

I remember going into bookshops as a child, determined that I was going to:

a) buy everyone in my entire family a book to read for Christmas because I loved choosing the books, loved the secret shenanigans I got up to beforehand as I tried to discover which books in a series they’d already got and which they still needed, and because they were easy to wrap nicely(!), and

b) point out to the adult(s) with me which books I really thought were amazing, and stand looking longingly at them – surely someone would take the hint… (you can’t blame a book-obsessed girl for trying!).

What I have never forgotten, however, is the sheer wonder I experienced while taking the time to choose presents for my loved ones. My perusals which led to learning about so many more genres than I read myself at the time, elation at being surrounded by so many books in general and the shelves and shelves of Agatha Christie books in particular (my local branch of WH Smith at the time had an entire wall devoted to Christie novels), and the ultimate book-buying that connected us through a love of reading, even if that’s not what I realised I was doing at the time. A gift from one reader to another, for me, is something very special and personal. Nowadays, of course, we can choose to buy paperbacks and hardbacks, or gift e-books instead. We can even give people the opportunity of reading with their ears through audiobooks – something I wish I’d been able to offer up as presents for certain members of my family when I was a child. There really is something for everyone nowadays. And I truly think that’s wonderful.

If you are planning on buying books as Christmas presents this year, I hope you have as much fun doing it as I do. And if you open up your presents on Christmas Day and find that someone has taken the time to try and connect with your imagination through a story they think you’ll love, then you have, in my opinion, been given a gift that will keep on giving. It will give love to you every time you read it, or think about it, or when it inspires your own imagination or wish to devour more stories.

Our real lives revolve around the story we live every day. Not all of us are fortunate enough to be able to choose how that story plays out, either some or all of that time. So, at Christmastime, why not let someone you know have the enjoyment of living in their imaginations with the characters that authors have created for those who love the kinds of stories they offer up as gifts, so that we can lose ourselves in them? It might turn out to be the best gift you could ever give.

***

(It would be remiss of me – as an author – to not throw in a cheeky quick mention my own books here. If you’d like to see the ones I have on offer, you can find all my books here. Maybe you could stuff a loved one’s new reading device with e-books, or grab a paperback stocking filler for the suspense reader in your life.)

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